Note: This was actually meant to be two separate pieces, but they ended up blending together in my ranted typing. Go figure...

I was driving home one night, listening to the radio when I suddenly could not believe what I was hearing. The DJ was talking about a couple at Harvard that, apparently, got drunk, got naked, got into bed and when he put his thing where she didn't want it, she said, "No" he apologized and withdrew. Now, I'm not familiar with details after this, but it seems he was kicked out of school. This isn't what pissed me off. It was the female caller who was voicing her opinion about it.

This caller seemed to think that the boy was perfectly in the right to stick his thing where ever he wanted. Her words were something to the effect of "if you're naked by a guy, what do you expect him to do?" I beg your pardon? If I'm anywhere with any guy, I expect him to ask my permission before he sticks ANYTHING of his ANYWHERE close to me.

For some reason, people are made to believe that men can't help themselves. If you put a woman in front of a man, he's gonna grope her because "that's what men do." Bullshit! They do that because we fucking let them. We teach them, as they are growing up, that we don't hold them responsible for their actions "because they are boys."

I get so tired of myths likes these being perpetuated. I couldn't believe that it was a FEMALE saying this! Does she really believe that men cannot control their actions; that they are completely under control of their raging hormones and once the little head starts working, their big one stops completely?

It's similar to the whole caveman theory. You know, men grabbed women by their hair, drug them off to a cave, and raped them, thus starting civilization as we know it. Uh, how do they know this? Are there cave drawings featuring rapes? Did they find bodies preserved in the ice, him with his hands in her hair dragging her along? How did they dream this up?

Well, as long as men say they cannot help but follow the call of their meat, I will exploit those hormones, using my body to get me whatever I want. After all, if they are going to fall back on such a lame cop out, I feel entitled. Recently, I have been trying to teach a friend of mine that she needs no money when going to bars. She has but to find men willing to buy her what she needs.

I used to be an expert at this. Once, while in New York, I not only got my drinks for free, but since the bartender liked me, I managed to get two male friends of mine shit-faced, also. I haven't practiced much since I've been married, but maybe I should. That way, we can perpetuate the myth of women being tainted by the evil apple and seducing men to hell. Whatever.